Parents demand adult daughter give up husband's office so they'd have a permanent guest room in her house, even though they never come to visit: ‘This is not up for discussion’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 25, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

The dread of an upcoming parents' visit to your place is something that is hard to explain in words. Sure, you love your parents, and you'd think that 20-something years of experience living with them under the same roof would prepare you for the notion of hosting them in your own adult house, but that is often not the case.

Even though they raised you and taught you everything you know, especially when it comes to managing a household, they still tend to be extremely judgemental. They will notice every crack, every speck of dust, and they will make sure you know it. They also arrive with lots of demands for their stay, and have a hard time accepting 'no' for an answer.

You can never be prepared enough for a parental visit, both emotionally and physically, all you can do is your absolute best. If your parents are still having a hard time accommodating to that, maybe they should reconsider their future visits, and do you all a huge favor in the process.

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  • The parents in the story below are definitely giving their daughter a hard time when it comes to their visits, even though they are extremely few and far between.

    Their main issue? They want their daughter to have a full guest room ready for their visits, and refuse to sleep anywhere else. 

    Unfortunately, these demands are not something their daughter is willing to comply with…

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    Cheezburger Image 10485185536
    via Africa images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "AITAH - Parents expect us to have a guest room made up for them"

    Pretty sure I know the answer but my parents keep going on about this. My husband and I have a 3 bedroom house, we don't have children. We
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    have our bedroom, then we have my study and his study / games room. His study is in the bigger bedroom so we have a sofa bed for the (rare)
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    occasion we have guests or one of us is ill. My parents have never stayed with us because they refuse to sleep on the sofa bed and think it
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    is childish that my husband has a "man cave". I'm happy to offer up our bed but they don't want that either - they say it's "normal" to have a room with a proper made
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    up bed in it for guests that otherwise gets no use, as they do. Fwiw my parents have a 4 bedroom house and one of those bedrooms is my dad's "man cave" but his
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    hobby is model cars and not video games so that's more valid apparently. We are moving to a new house on a quieter street that is again, 3 bedrooms and my parents have
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    expressed hope that we will forgo my husband's man cave and have a room dedicated to them. for the 2-3 times a year they might visit. I disagree
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    as this is our house, we live in it, and we choose how the rooms that WE pay for are used. If we didn't want the space we'd downsize to a 2- bedroom house.
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    I'm planning to buy a new sofa bed anyway as the one we have isn't that comfortable so fair enough, but they're
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    against ANY sofa bed even a fancy one that costs more than our own bed. So yeah are we TAH?
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    Cheezburger Image 10485191424
    via damircudic
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    Rayvinne Absolutely NTA. Frankly, criticizing and trying to dictate your living arrangements, the furniture in your house and the way your husband spends his free time is pretty disrespectful.
    via Rayvinne
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    You are fully grown adults, it is your money, your house and you will do whatever you want with it. All this insisting and pushing about a room they are planning to visit 2-3 times a year is really, rreallyyy sus. Are they simply the
    via Rayvinne
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    controlling type or are they actually planning to move in with you and your husband sometime in the future and preparing their setup?
    via Rayvinne
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    PuzzleheadedFlan7839 OP It's pretty galling honestly. For my marriage and my sanity I would never have my parents move in with me, h I no. I have long stopped JADEing my life choices to my parents but they do like to keep going off on one.
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    Divine Tarot NTA Honestly, the emphasis on your husbands hobby makes me think this isn't just about the guest room, but more like your
    via DivineTarot
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    parents have chosen to make one big issue out of two. They're mad you don't have a specific little room that they could eventually slot into when they're infirm, and they disapprove of your husbands hobby. Like, I think even with the murphy bed
    via DivineTarot
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    people are recommending your parents would still throw a fit because it isn't exactly what they want, which more or less includes pressuring your husband to be more your parents kinda people.
    via DivineTarot
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    PuzzleheadedFlan 7839 OP Yup, think you nailed it ✓ they're so hypocritical when it comes to my husband, it's getting tiring. having to constantly shut it down. having a sofa bed seems to stop them from invading our space at least.
    via PuzzleheadedFlan7839
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    franchesca_is_lovely Your house, your rules. If they want a dedicated guest room so badly, they can book one at a hotel. It's wild how some parents think they get to
    via franchesca_is_lovely
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    dictate how their grown kids use their own space. Stay strong fancy sofa bed or nothing!
    via franchesca_is_lovely
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    Amazing-Wave4704 Look its pretty obvious this is targeting your husband. So they dont mind YOU having an office. Just HIM. I can't even call it passive aggression. Its just aggression.
    via Amazing-Wave4704
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    It is time for you to one hundred percent have his back. Tell them you understand if they feel more comfortable staying in a hotel, but this is no longer up for discussion
    via Amazing-Wave4704

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